Dear Agony uncle,
“I have been with my beautiful wife Julie for 4 years now and although we have a very fulfilling life with a beautiful home, great jobs, a great social life and 2 lovely Labradors, we do have one problem – she has recently been complaining about my performance in the bedroom.”
“When we first got married we had a lot of sex and we had it everywhere. It was crazy, passionate, loving and intimate. Even at social gatherings or in public, we could not keep our hands off each other. She used to praise me in the bedroom and said I was the best she ever had, now she just complains. Since we moved closer into London for our jobs, my life has become a lot more career orientated and very fast paced. I often find it hard to find the time to do simple things such as changing my bed sheets or even having a poo! I am unable to take up any hobbies and when I get into bed at night I am absolutely exhausted.”
“Julie finds it upsetting that I never initiate sex anymore and when I tell her it’s because I am tired she doesn’t believe me and is under the impression that I am no longer attracted to her – which is very untrue. To be honest, when we are having sex or I am performing oral on her I am slight disinterested because I would much rather be sleeping and could not be bothered. When she is performing oral on me I find it hard to ejaculate because my mind is on other things and this makes her feel very insecure. We have lost all of our passion and this has led to Julie having a fling with one of the graduates in her office. She is a beautiful woman and she deserves to be wanted and loved and worshipped and I can’t seem to give her that.”
“I have heard that many married couples who have been going through similar problems try an Asian sensual massage and as a result it has brought them back their spark, do you believe it will relight me and Julie’s fire?”
Thanks,
John
Dear John,
“I have so many men and women write to me daily about relationships and marital problems – it is very common, especially if you have been together or married for a number of years. However, if you both still love each other and want to be in the relationship then there are many ways to work towards fixing your problems and igniting that fire you once had in the bedroom. Sex is a huge part of many relationships and we as humans need that intimacy to bond with each other. You and Julie clearly have that chemistry and I believe that you can get it back.”
“A huge problem you have John is your lifestyle. Although it may be hard to do, you really need to take care of yourself and your mental and physical health and put yourself before your job. Of course, it is good to feel and be successful in your career, but what does that matter if every other aspect of your life in declining and unhappy. You need to have designated days where you spend with Julie, take up a hobby or just have some you time.”
“As a married man, you made promises to be there and care and love for Julie, always. Your behaviour is showing her otherwise and this is clearly causing huge problems for your marriage. My wife and I had these exact same problems a few years ago, and that I why we decided to try sensual massage as a way to rekindle our love and passion. Sensual massages are the perfect way to relax with one another and forget the outside world and enjoy each other’s company in a fun and pleasurable way.”
“You can take turns massaging each other, focusing on each body part with care and passion. Watch how she reacts to each touch and caress and make eye contact with her, letting you know you love her through non-verbal communication. You can make it even more sensual by dimming the lights, using candles and scented oils as well as sexy and seductive music. This will create a soothing atmosphere and you will feel at one with each other. When you are kissing her, hold her head in your hands and kiss her slowly and deeply. There is no need to rush during this type of sexual interaction as you should enjoy every moment of it. You could also try having sex or massaging each other in the shower, allowing the steamy hot water to arouse you both, making you both feel sexy and wanted. Holding her in your arms firmly and showing her you want her will drive her crazy and you will feel the chemistry bouncing between you.”
“In my own experience, sensual massages are the perfect way to bring back some romance into the relationship and show your lady that you worship her and want her. In return, she will treat you like a king and you will have amazing, sultry sex as well as a relaxing massage.”
“I hope this helps your problem John.”
Agony Uncle